Hi.
It has been a while.
So, hi. It's... um... been a while.
So... yeah.
Um, and the first thing I will do sine coming back to this blog will be... complaining. As I always do, and as you can tell by the title.
I went to tae-kwon-do for the first time in a week. It was also the first time since elementary school that I almost threw up. My eyes were watering and everything. But I hadn't been there in a week, and I've been sleeping pretty badly the past few weeks, because of a mix of homework, tests and just plain bad judgement. However, because we didn't spar today, I was not in an awful mood after, and so I am able to enjoy my Friday.
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SKIP THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ A RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, I realized today that I am probably no longer an otaku. Yes, I have a collection of manga and I like anime, but I watch maybe two episodes once a week. Pathetic, I know, but it is still enough for me to call myself an otaku, since I still enjoy talking about manga. However, the biggest indication of my otaku-self dying came today during lunch.
Some girl from the Japanese Club (that sounds a bit bitter, but I am a bit bitter towards her for reasons other than what I am about to relate to you) asked one of my friends if she liked Pandora Heart. She said she loved it, and they launched into a heated conversation about it, and for whatever reason, I was locked out of it even though I love that series to f*cking death. But that's not my point. She said, dramatically, looking off into the air just above her head:
Gilbert is my favorite anime character ever.
Which is fine. Gil is adorable and he deserves that. But. Oh, but, she didn't pronounce his name as "Gilbert." She said it as "Giruberuto," as in the romaji for it, or how it would be pronounced in the Japanese language.
Now, I understand that Pandora Hearts is a Japanese manga created by a (talented) Japanese women and published in Japan, but Gilbert is a western name. Just pronounce it as it's supposed to be pronounced. You wanna put a Japanese accent on a Japanese name, go for it. I will love you to death for it. But Giruberuto? No. Just, f*cking....
And this was what told me that I am no longer an otaku. A year ago, I would've been fine with it. I would have understood it; it would have made sense to me. That's the scary thing. A year ago, saying his name like that would have made sense to me. But today I just wanted to scream at her for it. The *****ing weaboo. That was what I thought.
Am I making too big a deal about this? I'll say Kinomoto Sakura or Kurozaki Ichigo with a Japanese accent. They're Japanese characters with Japanese names. But Mochizuki Jun meant for Gilbert to be pronounced as f*cking Gilbert. Mimicking the Japanese accent like that is, frankly, patronizing and a little bit insulting, isn't it? I understand that anime fans love Japan and, for various reasons, want to act as Japanese as possible, but, really, must they?
Do you have to add "nya!" or "day-soooo" or "kuh-waaah-ee" to every sentence? Do you have to use "baka" at any opportunity to insult somebody, and then laugh at them because they don't watch anime or read manga or interact with anything remotely Japanese and thus have no possible way of knowing what it means? Do you have to worship j-rock and visual-kei like sun gods and does every second you spend reading have to be manga?
Because, I am (was) an otaku. I watch(ed) a ton of anime. I learned Japanese and am proficient. I learned a f*cking thing or two about Japan and I can accept a Japanese person being not awesome because, frankly, the majority aren't. Which is the case with any nationality; I am not bashing Japan in any way. I like very few Japanese artists. I also read. Real novels. Like, upwards of 200 hundred pages, real literature from various countries.
What really worries me, though, is the realization that, Oh sh*it, otaku-ism has probably been like this. For a while. I just never noticed. I went through an intense weaboo phase, but it went away by the time I reached high school. But it feels like the world I chose to assimilate myself into , the world I chose to put in effort to understand has, in fact, all been a farce. People who like anime are not multi-culturally minded. They don't like putting more than a certain amount of effort to learn new things. They're frikking morons. Maybe it was because I avoided uber-Japanophiles like the plague, but I never noticed it until now. They're all just a bunch of rebellious teenagers who want to stick it to society. They want to say "Oh, I'm so open minded I watch animes and I loves Japan and its awesome and I wanna live there and be a mangaka cuz my parents and classmates are all close-minded idiots but looky here I'm watching anime like an individual! **** yeah!"
But they're not. And everyone's like this. Sure, most people grow out of it, but why must it be to this much of an extent for such a long time? Do they not realize how stupid they sound, even to fellow otaku like me?
So by the time their awful conversation ended, I decided.
I don't want to be an otaku anymore.
From now on, I am a casual anime fan who's watched a few series. And that is all, and I will be proud of it.
END OF RANT
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When I was buying lunch a couple days ago, one of my classmates kept trying to talk to me. He said, "it's called small talk."
I really need to work on my social skills...
ALSO
I am teaching myself how to juggle. I can almost juggle three balls. As in I throw each of them once, catch them, and then realize I'm not coordinated to keep going from there. I am working on it, and it is very fun.
I am really, really sorry about this post. More of it was complaining than I meant for it to be. I am so, so sorry.
And I probably won't be back for another three weeks.
Again, I am so sorry, readers.
I'll try (again, TRY) reaaaally hard to write something more intelligent next time. I promise, okay?
Okay.
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