I must be reaaaally going through withdrawal from lack of manga. We went to Barnes and Noble yesterday, and they had volumes 5-9 of Nightmare Inspector and I reaaally wanted to buy them, but my mother still wouldn't let me...
She said if I get straight A's this semester, she'd let me buy one...
But we all know that ain't happening.
I just checked, and it hasn't happened.
Aah, I almost feel like crying.
Anyway, that reminder of how much of a failure I am, and the fact that I'd been so close to manga in soo long, I got really, really depressed...
But then we went to Michael's and I got about $70 of art supplies!
But it still sucks I got such a lousy grade for French.
I wanna cry.....
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Oh, I finally found the book Maurice by E.M. Forster. I've been hesitant to order it online cuz... well, I just don't do it often, and I feel better having the physical book in my hand from the second I purchase it.
It was in one volume with two other books, A Room with a View and Howard's End. I'm reading the other two first, and I'm really liking them. I've yet to read that other book by him I have, The Longest Journey. I really liked the beginning part, where the main character's arguing someone about the existence or nonexistence of a cow.\
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Anyway, I decided I wanted to buy copic markers because I wanted to try them out, but they were, like, six bucks each, so I went and got a 24 pack of Prismacolor art markers. With a coupon, they were about $50.
They are amazing!
But they stink.
And there's no good color for skin, which makes me really sad.
In the back of one of my volumes of Switch, the artist said she used copic markers to color the covers, and now I think I know why their skin is so... orange.
But the markers are really nice and I really like them.
BTW, you don't have to read the reaaally long part below this. I just felt like ranting, I'd feel better if you didn't read it.
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Yesterday, I was talking to my friends on Google Wave, and I did something really bold.
After refuting one's claim of being my best friend with a "I don't consider my best friend," she got really angry and called me a liar. I countered that with a "Why do you always refuse to believe me when I'm honest about these things?" but she claimed that whole sentence was a lie. Because she doesn't always refuse to listen to reason (which she does) and she does believe me when I tell her these things (which she doesn't) and what I said wasn't honest (which it was.)
Of course, after feeling slight irritation and a growing headache, I declared, "I can't deal with such unreasonable people. I think I'll just leave now." And I left.
Before that, I had asked, "May I leave?" because, a) I really wanted to leave and b) I wanted to see what their reactions would be if I were to be honest about wanting to leave.
As you can expect, their reaction was less than pleasant. And somehow, it got into that argument about whether I have a best friend or not (*sigh*) and I knew I'd never be able to win, because logic works never works even when the other side claims to be cool-headed and intelligent, and so I just left.
My other friend, who refuses to step in whenever I get into an argument with the first friend, tried to talk to me on Google chat, but I just ignored it. She also put a YouTube link there, but I didn't feel like clicking it.
Is it really so bad to be straightforward with "friends"? Contrary to what would be expected, it seems to be better to be less honest the closer you are to someone. Whenever I start talking to my friends (these two are really the only ones I talk to online, since my other friends don't seem to be online when I am), it always turns to something very unpleasant, and I seem to be the person who always gets the worst of the blows. I knew it would blow up into something really troublesome, so I just wanted to leave until it reached that point. I'm no good at social graces, even worse when it comes to friends.
Friend A (the unreasonable one) says her best friends are Friend B (the silent one who never tries to help me) and me. Is it so bad I don't consider her my best friend? Is that really such a sin? I thought we were supposed to be encouraged to say what we really think, but I'm really just so naive to think that;d even work with friends.
Should I just be kinder to people? It's difficult and troublesome to be kind or unkind, so I try to stay frank and neutral no matter what. But I'm starting to wonder if that's an even worse atrocity than being mean to people. I don't think I'm even that mean anymore. It's cooled down to this jaded, melancholy straightforwardness than I find hard to read. But who knows, maybe other people find me easier to read than I do.
But the thing that bothers me most is that Friend A expects me to keep up with her form of logic while she refuses to accept mine.
But I guess that's to be expected.
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